Let me tell you a little bit about snoring. I, myself, do not snore, so I've been told, however my husband used to snore so loud and voraciously that he sounded like a wild animal. No joke! I thought I was sleeping next to a cross between a boar and a sea lion. I've heard trains that make less noise that my hubby. This is a major health issue affecting millions of people. You might think it's harmless, especially if you are the snorer. But let me assure you, if you do not get the problem remedied you might be suffocated in your sleep by your wife! (I repeatedly warned him that if he did not roll over I was going to stuff my socks fully into his nostrils.) You might not be in danger only from your wife, but also, when you snore your health suffers.
I'm not talking about little snorts here and there, I'm talking about the earth-shaking, skull rattling sounds. It does not matter if you are a man, woman, or child, it can come from anyone. Even the most delicate little flowers can snore like a chainsaw if there is something wrong with their breathing passages.
There are many different reasons why someone snores. Sometimes sleeping on your back causes your airway to be constricted causing snoring. This happens to my dad every single night. I have no idea how my mom can stand sleeping in the same room with him. His snoring is on the next level. He snores so loud that the air in the room actually vibrates. (One time when my whole family was visiting my sister we all had to share the basement together for sleeping purposes. My husband and my dad were like dueling friggin pianos. After night two I was contemplating sleeping outside in a tent...in February...in Minnesota.) Anyway, at one point, my mama constructed an anti-snoring device. (This is so good!) She was so desperate that she decided to sew a tennis ball to the back of his pajamas so he would be unable to sleep on his back. It did not work. He learned how to snore on his side.
Another reason for snoring is that you are overweight. This was my husband's reason for snoring. He had gained about thirty pounds and I did not sleep for three years. He gains weight in his body, neck and face. This is especially bad for snorers and could also cause sleep apnea, which is when you stop breathing for a couple of seconds to several minutes. If your chin is weighted down with excess fat it literally lies on top of your neck and disturbs your airway. So in other words, if you have a butt the size of a dump truck but no fat on your neck you are good to go. (Just for the record, my hubby has lost the thirty pounds and has completely stopped snoring, so it does work.)
Alcohol is yet another culprit. Actually any sort of relaxant could have the same effect but alcohol is the most common. It relaxes the throat muscles causing it to collapse upon itself and you've got snoring. This happens to my husband's best friend every single time he drinks, even if it is only one beer! We learned this the hard way when we all went to New Orleans together. (The greatest city in the world!) He had quite a few Hurricanes and we were all sharing a hotel room. Needless to say we took turns throwing random items at him until he just gave up on sleeping and went to get café au lait and beignets.
Anyhow, there are several other reasons for snoring but those are some of the major causes. So lets think about how to correct those issues. You can lose weight, stop drinking and sew a tennis ball to the back of your P.J.'s. Sounds like loads of fun. Or you can get yourself a night guard. It is a fitted mouthpiece that holds your jaw in a forward position (think of a bulldog), which keeps your airway clear. Or you can get a CPAT machine which forces air up your nose so you are getting enough air. All very sexy options. So in other words, if you snore you are pretty much screwed, or I mean not screwed. Who knows, maybe your partner finds a fat drunk with a tennis ball on his back and bulldog teeth sexy, in that case who cares about snoring?
Office Manager/Former Snoring Victim